I remember a sermon that was preached in church one Sunday when I was young and sponge-like, still able to absorb all that was around me.
IF…
…such a small and seemingly insignificant word. A small and seemingly insignificant word that contains so much power. It contains the power to make us choose. One of the things that sets us apart from every other creature on this planet is our ability to make our own decisions, our free will. We have the ability to reason, and from that reasoning we make choices; “If I do this, I can achieve that. If I do that, I can achieve this.” If is the key word in both these statements. It is the pivotal point in the decision as to whether I do this or that, to whether I achieve that or this. If is the crux of any question/statement in which it features. For such a small and seemingly insignificant word, it demands attention.
Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem based around the word IF. David Gates wrote a song called IF. Roger Whittaker gave up believing in IF. I am undecided.
What if…? That’s the question that has popped up from time to time in the past few weeks. What if I hadn’t gone to Iconic that day? What if the earthquake had struck 2 minutes earlier, when I was crawling around in the roof space of the Iconic? What if it had struck 2 minutes later, when I would likely have been in my car? What if I didn’t have a gammy knee, and I was quick enough to actually make a dash for the door? Would I have gone for the door if I could?
Kipling pondered, “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs…” as a condition for achieving success in life.
I kept my head Mr Kipling. 1001 thoughts went coursing through my brain and somehow I was able to sort through them; disregard those that were irrelevant, unhelpful, inconsequential; categorise them according to relevance and urgency. “MOVE!” That was at the top of the list. “No, wait, Little Sam’s up stairs, …can’t leave without him!”, “Stop!”, “Wait for it to calm down then get Sam from upstairs.” …barely seconds into this thing and already a dozen or more thoughts have been sorted; disregarded; categorised. Already I’ve made choices. Already if has had it’s say.
David Gates asked “If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can’t I paint you?” My issue is that a thousand words aren’t enough.
I have a thousand pictures in my head from that fateful day and I would struggle to find the words that could adequately describe half of those pictures. This blog site has been so helpful to me as a way of expressing what I experienced on that day and yet as I continue to pour out words I still cannot give justice to the absolute enormity of emotion that overwhelmed me on that day. I am reminded just how insignificant we really are in the grand scheme of things.
Roger Whittaker claimed “If is for children, building daydreams” Maybe he was right!
The simple fact is, things happened the way they did. There is nothing I can do now that will change what happened then. The best I can gain from all that has happened is to realise that everything could end at any moment, so there is no use in daydreaming about the “what ifs’ “. I’m a grownup, so I’m responsible for making things happen in my life.
IF, it’s a small word that alludes to so much, but it’s still just a small word!